A Change of Subject

Some days I feel like I'm eating, drinking, and breathing wedding stuff. It's always on my mind, or at least sitting right behind what I am immediately thinking ready to jump out. I am trying my best to not talk about it too much, because I know most of the people around me are not half as interested in the details of my wedding as I am. The only person I can think of that actually gets just as excited about wedding stuff as I do is Shannon. I am very thankful for that, because it is nice to have someone squeal with me. lol. Wedding planning is on my mind all of the time and we still have five months to go. What am I going to be like at one month or one week for that matter? Oh I hope I don't lose any friends over it. And I hope I don't drive anyone completely crazy over it. And most of all, I hope I don't turn into a Bridezilla.

Okay time to change the subject (this is my attempt to not talk about the wedding). Tonight Shannon, Tyler, and me are going to a haunted house!!!! I'm so excited!

Hmmm, another change of subject. I had a very emotional, yet productive talk with my dad last night. He's working on a lot of things. And I truly want to believe that he really is sorry for all the things he did to us and didn't do for us as children, but I can't put all my hope in that. I can't ever trust that he will change. I expect the worst from him. Expecting the best has always led to disappointment. So for now, I expect the worst, and hope for the best. That way I am prepared no matter what he does. I truly believe God can change anyone. I've said what I felt he needed to hear. I've forgiven him. He's my Dad and I will always love him. All I can do now is pray for him. There is nothing more to do.

Another change of subject, well sorta. I don't feel that my Dad is a real wise man. Therefore, it is a rare event for him to give me a piece of wisdom. I don't usually listen to or put much stock in the little advice that he does give me. But he said something that really made me think. He said that me, my mom, my brothers, and him were all still basically one family unit, even if him and my mom were no longer married. He said that he would like to believe that if he needed something that we would do anything within our ability to help him. And I think we would. I know I would. When he said this I said, "Yea I would, but I have friends that are like family to me and that I would do anything in my power to help them out." He said, "Me and your mom had friends like that at one time, but things change. Life changes. You may always care about and be friends with those people, but you won't always be as close to them. You eventually grow apart." Well this got me thinking. I HATE change. I have had several friends a long the way that I was close with, but we grew apart. I've always had a really tough time with losing the closeness of a friendship. I would always try to get it back in some way or another, instead of just realizing this is how life works. You change, they change, you grow closer, you grow apart. That's just life. Blood isn't thicker than water, but family bonds are stronger than anything! Each person considers family in a different light, but your family will always be there for you. Your family will always love you. Once again, I'm not talking about blood relatives. I am talking about family. My Dad made me think, and realize that sometimes it is completely okay to grow apart from another person. It is completely okay to change. Life is just like that, and the best thing to do is accept that.

PS- I didn't have time to spellcheck and read through and edit any grammar mistakes, so forgive me if I missed or misspelled any words.