I have a "what to expect when you're expecting" app on my phone. During this whole pregnancy I have always read the current week's info, as well as the two weeks ahead of it. I couldn't wait until I was say 20 weeks. I couldn't wait to be halfway there. I couldn't wait to feel this precious child move.
Now that it's here I really want things to slow down. I can't believe that I'm 22 weeks already. When did this happen?!? I love feeling my daughter move. It is an amazing feeling, but it reminds me all the more how very soon she will be entering this world. In about four short months I will be meeting her. I am so excited for this, but at the same time I'm scared out of my mind! There are days when it really sinks in and I think to myself, "what in the hell were we thinking?" and "I am so not ready for this." I guess these are normal thoughts. It's amazing to me how much I love this child already. I would do anything for this little girl. Making sacrifices is not the issue. It's not what makes me nervous. I think the idea of having someone completely dependent on me and whether I can really give her everything she needs is what scares me. I'm afraid I don't have what it takes to be a good mother. Like I said I think this is all normal, but I needed to vent some :-)
My priorities have shifted completely. I think constantly of what is best for the baby, not what is best for me. We save every penny we can. We make constant adjustments. Our main focus is her. I still think it's important for us to nurture our marriage so we do make time for that. Things are just different now, in a good way.
I had a doctors appointment yesterday. They scheduled my next visit, as well as, my next ultrasound for June3rd. They want to see if the placenta issue has resolved itself. I think it will.
Needless to say I am no longer looking ahead two or three weeks. I'm just enjoying the moment and being pregnant. I just want to take it one day at a time from here on out. No need to rush anything. It'll be here before we know it.
2 comments:
didn't know you had a blog! LOVE it!! So excited for you and your hubby, I'm sure you will be great parents!
Do you have placenta previa? I had that with my 2nd. It moved on it's own so we didn't have to do a c-section, but I know it's stressful. Best of luck and enjoy every minute.
ps: i have a blog too: http://thedietels.blogspot.com/
Yea I don't blog very much. I think that's why most people don't know I have one. And I have a partial placenta previa. I'm pretty sure it will move on it's own, but like you said it is stressful.
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